Are Weeb There Yet?
An Exploration and Education in Anime!

AWTY 38 - Uh...Meow? (Sonic X with Melissa Sahagian & Jess Morse)

4 years ago
Transcript
Speaker A:

Hey, everyone.

Speaker B:

This is Patrick with a special message about today's episode. Please stay tuned. At the end, we have a special presentation of a lovely piece of fan fiction from the book Bad Fan Fiction, that our guests Melissa and jess wrote. It is wonderful. It is sonic related. It involves the death of Brad garrett. And I very much want you to hear it. So stay tuned and enjoy the episode. Looks like a big hedgehog. A blue hedgehog. Hello, and welcome to our reef. There yet an exploration and education in anime. I'm your anime idiot, patrick dugan.

Speaker C:

I'm an anime expert, dana hollander.

Speaker A:

And I'm brenda mccullough, your hairy anime child. Man voiced by Ben schwartz.

Speaker C:

Bye.

Speaker A:

I'm out.

Speaker B:

Sorry. We have to pause and redesign Brendan before we continue this episode. I'm so sorry.

Speaker C:

Horribly mistreat our animators and completely redo Brendan.

Speaker A:

It's crunch time.

Speaker B:

I'll be up for the next 60 hours working on them. I'm so sorry.

Speaker A:

And they won't get overtime because it's not in union.

Speaker C:

We love commentary.

Speaker A:

It's so good.

Speaker B:

And helping us in this effort. We have two guests with us this week. We have two authors of the book Bad fanfiction. Please introduce yourselves.

Speaker D:

My name is Melissa. I'm one of the authors of bad fan fiction. And I like Sonic.

Speaker E:

I'm jess Morris. I am an author of bad fan fiction.

Speaker B:

The book this week, we have a fun one. We're going to watch the Sonic X anime.

Speaker A:

Oh, boy.

Speaker B:

Yeah. Brendan, you already have hesitations. How are you feeling? Have you seen the show?

Speaker A:

Yeah. I remember being in that prime age for the four kids Fox anime block on Saturday mornings and getting an eye full of this. It's sonic. All right.

Speaker C:

I've never seen it, but boy, am I excited.

Speaker B:

Yeah. I also did not know this was a thing until I just googled Sonic anime. Just very hopeful. What are your experiences with this show?

Speaker D:

I watched it in middle school because that's when my Sonic phase was and I loved it.

Speaker E:

When your sonic phase started. Yeah, when my Sonic face began.

Speaker D:

Excuse me, but I have not seen it since.

Speaker E:

I never watched Sonic X, but I watched all the other video game and game animes for pokemon, yugioh, Mega Man, kirby, just all of those other shows and not Sonic.

Speaker C:

You missed Sonic.

Speaker B:

I was aware of the Juliel White version of Sonic, and that was the only cartoon one I thought was around until Sonic boom came back in recent years. But yeah, this was news to me just from the source. Prime 2003. I believe this aired in Japan, came here in 2005.

Speaker A:

It's weird to think of anything with the word Sonic X blank for kids.

Speaker D:

That's true.

Speaker B:

It's treacherous waters trying to Google this show.

Speaker C:

I feel like Sonic is a fun one because it's one of those things that everybody knows about. Everybody knows Sonic. Whether you like Sonic, I guess that's the question. I for one. Love that blue boy.

Speaker B:

I will admit I have never played like, a whole Sonic game. I would have friends who had it and I would pick it up for like the afternoon while we were hanging out. But beyond that, I was never like a sega or Nintendo. I was like solely PlayStation. So I only have the cultural knowledge around Sonic and not the prime experience.

Speaker D:

Yeah, I mean, I loved Sonic Adventure Two Battle. That season two of this show is like the plot of that game, which is why I'm so familiar with season two.

Speaker C:

I was about to say I played endless hours of the multiplayer of Sonic Adventure Two Battle.

Speaker D:

Yeah, it's so fun.

Speaker C:

So good.

Speaker A:

Spent a lot of time in that chow garden just raising those itty bitty babies and making them fight each other, which in hindsight is probably pretty bad.

Speaker C:

One of them had hell in one of their powers and I was like, that stuff?

Speaker D:

Yeah, chow heaven and chow hell. You're like twelve years old and you're like, whoa.

Speaker A:

Sonic'S. So bizarre.

Speaker B:

We are going to watch the first three episodes of Sonic X. Speed. speedman. That's me. I'm I'm fastboy. That's his catchphrase, right?

Speaker C:

Chilly dog.

Speaker A:

Big.

Speaker B:

The catch, my little pop pong cart is is just this opening song is just so good.

Speaker A:

I am horrified by how much I remember this song because, like, I watched it, but I didn't think I watched it enough to memorize the theme as.

Speaker D:

Much as, oh, this song is so good.

Speaker A:

It is horribly catchy.

Speaker C:

I didn't think I knew it, but when I heard it, I was like, where have I heard this?

Speaker A:

It's all coming back.

Speaker C:

Got to go faster, faster, faster, faster, faster.

Speaker D:

I mean, the lyrics are just fantastic.

Speaker E:

My favorite part is probably the clip, which we see in a later episode of Sonic. Just spanking his own ass to that song. I was like, this is Sonic. If I didn't know already, I know now.

Speaker B:

He's a bad boy.

Speaker A:

Dude with the attitude.

Speaker C:

This is a but hit and show.

Speaker A:

But he does have the Disney thing of like he wears gloves and shoes but no other clothing. So it does make you wonder. They do understand what clothing is.

Speaker D:

They just choose amy is fully clothed.

Speaker A:

Amy'S fully clothed, cream is fully clothed, but none of the male characters are.

Speaker B:

Yeah, canonically we have Sonic spanking his band.

Speaker C:

What a way to start.

Speaker B:

And that's the introduction. So for episode one, we we start with, hello, I am Big. The cat just napping, napping by a lake. You know what he does.

Speaker A:

Yeah.

Speaker B:

And of course, he is in spitting range of a military complex. sirens over the treelines as Sonic is breaking into I almost said Robotnik's eggman's layer. And this is where we get that sweet opening.

Speaker A:

I will jump in real quick. I do like, though, with Sonic Adventure, too. We do have the canonical timeline of Dr. robotnik being Dr. Eggman's grandfather. So Sonic is at least like 50 years old. He spanned three generations of Eggman. Sorry, continue.

Speaker D:

That's true.

Speaker B:

I'm already lost in the Sonic lore and we got to the opening crack.

Speaker C:

My knowledge of the Sonic lore comes from the unraveled episode with the Sonic Bible.

Speaker A:

Oh, many of you have watched that. That's a rough go for your encapsulation of Sonic lore.

Speaker C:

He does quilting. quilting circles.

Speaker A:

Sorry. Episode one.

Speaker B:

So we got Sonic, he's breaking in because Eggman's about to get all the Chaos emeralds and put them in a big machine and make energy, I guess.

Speaker A:

Sure.

Speaker B:

Evil. You know how you have an evil machine?

Speaker C:

Yeah. Every villains got one.

Speaker A:

Yeah.

Speaker B:

So sonic's running through all these robots on the defense perimeter, just jumping around, having a grand old time. We got tails and Amy in a plane getting air support.

Speaker D:

That's what they do, that's their job.

Speaker A:

They're flying into the tornado. It's miles per hour, aka tails. It's the plane he built. God, I know way too much about Sonic. I'm sorry.

Speaker D:

Wait, I knew that's what his last name was, but I never got that. It was like miles per hour. That is stupid.

Speaker E:

Why did he go by tails if he already he has like a cool regular name.

Speaker A:

He's not a fan of jazz.

Speaker B:

It's hit or miss when people get named by their like iconic body things. Because we got knuckles, we got tails, and then just a names on it, cream and Cream. So yeah, he's breaking in. Cream and Cheese are captured being held by Eggman as he's about to put the last emerald in. Sonic busts in and in a misfire with a robot shoots the machine and blows it all up and it transports them all. Sonic goes into a dark state. He wakes up in the nether realm, but we soon find out it's a busy intersection because he's in Hollywood, baby. Oh yeah, they were hinting at the movie for so long.

Speaker C:

Is the build up foreshadowing?

Speaker A:

I have to say though, when Sonic breaks into the base, he like locked eyes with Eggman, who's holding a trigger like a dead man switch. He's like, don't come any closer. I'll hit the switch and activate the machine. And then Sonic proceeds to just run around the room while robots shooting at him. At the whole time. Eggman could have just hit the switch whenever like, Sonic could be coming for him.

Speaker B:

It's true, because the whole thing was like, I'm faster than you, I can get to the trigger quicker. As he takes the longest possible detour on the ceiling around the walls.

Speaker A:

It bothered me right away.

Speaker D:

Makes me think that Eggman didn't really want to push that button.

Speaker E:

I like this intro to the show because it's a good way to be like, here's all the characters doing something actiony. It's a kid's show. Are you asleep yet?

Speaker D:

No. Great job.

Speaker E:

We went fast. And now something else has happened.

Speaker B:

You just woke up. It's Sunday morning. You're a you're ready for that?

Speaker A:

Got all that sugary cereal in you. Got to go.

Speaker C:

Got to go fast.

Speaker B:

So, yeah, we see Sonic all alone, separated from his friends. He wakes up in the middle of a busy intersection in Los Angeles.

Speaker D:

We've all been there.

Speaker C:

Whoops.

Speaker B:

It's a rite of passage. That's how you get to Hollywood.

Speaker A:

You pass out somewhere else and you wake up in Hollywood.

Speaker B:

Naturally. All these strange monkey people called humans are just staring at him.

Speaker A:

Eggman's human, so they're not that strange to him. Right?

Speaker C:

He doesn't really look like any of these people, though.

Speaker A:

Kinda. Wait a minute. If eggman is Dr. Robotn's cranston, that means Dr. robotnik has canonically falked.

Speaker D:

Stop. Why is that so unbelievable?

Speaker C:

Okay, much like goofy.

Speaker A:

Goofy.

Speaker E:

On the subject of Eggman, I do want to say that I heard it and then I looked it up to confirm. But Eggman is the same voice as the narrator from the pokemon series. Eggman said something and I was like, what if this guy instead was saying, last time, Ash the game, et cetera? And I was right.

Speaker B:

Yeah, I was looking up the cast and there's a lot of pokemon crossover.

Speaker A:

In this probably SIM studio. Yeah.

Speaker B:

Since it's all for kids, the Fox for Kids lineup, I assume it was just like the same people just doing all of that. But yeah, we got Sonic waking up in the city. There's a crowd of people being like a blue hedgehog.

Speaker D:

What I do like, how many times? They're like, oh, is that a weird cat? Because it really brings you back to the Sonic movie trailer where he's like, Meow? Oh, this horrible line makes sense now.

Speaker E:

There's several times in these three episodes.

Speaker D:

Where, uh, meow fits in the perfect fitting.

Speaker C:

Yes, fitting.

Speaker D:

The more so than it fitted in that trailer.

Speaker B:

See, everyone mad at that trailer. Just doesn't know their Sonic.

Speaker C:

Yeah, they obviously aren't true Sonic fans.

Speaker A:

I mean, it confused me too, because I'm like, if I saw Sonic in person, I wouldn't be like, oh, that's a hedgehog. I'd be like, what the fuck is that?

Speaker D:

It looks like a big hedgehog.

Speaker E:

No, it doesn't.

Speaker D:

You know what a hedgehog is?

Speaker B:

Look at it's. Very human limbs. It's not a hedgehog.

Speaker E:

It's wearing shoes and socks.

Speaker A:

And socks.

Speaker B:

One big eye.

Speaker C:

That's just one big eye.

Speaker A:

So he wakes up in La.

Speaker B:

And a bunch of just the most cartoonish cops. Like, literally the Irish cop stereotype.

Speaker A:

Why I wrote that down. Sonic the boy hard to talk to.

Speaker E:

Talk to talk, hard to talk, to, talk. It's also the guy couldn't do an Irish accent. He was trying and he just couldn't do it.

Speaker B:

He got into the studio that day and was like, I'm working on something.

Speaker C:

I'm going to workshop this on you guys.

Speaker B:

It's Sonic. No one cares about the inquisitive. So, yeah, a bunch of cops are like, hey, buddy, want to come hang out? Want to want to be friends with us and come to the police station? And naturally, Sonic bolts, because Sonic hates cops.

Speaker A:

Got to run away from her problems.

Speaker B:

He escapes, and the bulletin goes out that everyone is on high alert for this blue hedgehog.

Speaker A:

There is nothing going on in this city. There is no crime at all. This is the number one priority.

Speaker E:

Not even anyone driving.

Speaker A:

No.

Speaker E:

They blocked off miles and miles. The 101, which they referred to as simply 101, which, as a non le native, I was surprised it bothered me so much.

Speaker A:

Yeah.

Speaker C:

I grew up in Southern California, and every time I hear someone not PROCEED a freeway with the I'm like, what are you talking about?

Speaker A:

It's weird because we don't do that back in Pennsylvania where I'm from. So I would still call it, like, the 101 out here. But then the other highway back in Pennsylvania, I call Route One. So it's like, I don't know why I do that, but I do it's.

Speaker B:

It's all about the culture, baby. Hey, he's running down the highway, jumps over some sick police cars real quick.

Speaker A:

The police barricade also had bulldozers in it. Is that normal?

Speaker B:

The technology available to this 2003 police squad is very high tech. They got a full on barricade on this highway that Sonic easily jumps over, and they're like, oh, we tried one thing. Better call in the elite speed team, fast Cops.

Speaker E:

I don't want the fast cops in my city. Sonic can live. We don't need anyone that fast.

Speaker D:

Do you think they actually have that, like, real police forces, like a Formula One race?

Speaker E:

The La.

Speaker D:

Police Department, do they have that?

Speaker E:

They're just waiting for Sonic to show.

Speaker B:

Up so they can wipe them out?

Speaker D:

Well, come November, when this movie comes.

Speaker B:

Out, yeah, there's just been no need, so they're just trading, getting stronger.

Speaker C:

I was just thinking at this point, Sonic really hasn't done why do they care?

Speaker A:

Because he's weird and different.

Speaker C:

He's too catch.

Speaker B:

It jealous of his six shoes.

Speaker D:

I know I am, but he's got.

Speaker C:

To get his shoes.

Speaker B:

So the elite speed team is called in, where it's cops with Formula One race car.

Speaker A:

Ridiculous.

Speaker B:

We get a two long montage.

Speaker A:

And.

Speaker B:

It'S just this hot shot captain, I want a full on anime just of this speed top speed racer, just cocky guy, just super into solving crime. There is only one person that's ever been too fast for me, and I caught him in a minute. So, yeah, a bunch of Formula One race cars just roll out on the highway, catch up to Sonic, but still, Sonic is way too fast. They're going at 290 miles an hour.

Speaker A:

God, it's the this race car sequence is the most unrealistic part of the show with all these anthropomorphic talking creatures. Like, this is by far the most unrealistic, and like and then they get.

Speaker E:

To the end of the freeway. It's like, oh, they forgot to build.

Speaker D:

They haven't finished building the highway yet.

Speaker E:

Wouldn't the cops know that there's an end point to the highway and they need to stop their cars?

Speaker B:

Or they can only go fast until we get within 1 mile, and then we have to stop very fast. So, yeah, they keep running, trying to catch them, but the captain has this nitrous that makes them go 500 miles an hour and still is too slow. Sonic goes the speed of sound. Sonic boom. And just it's so ridiculous.

Speaker E:

I love the guy's reaction to him. He's just like sonic boom.

Speaker D:

No, that show is not coming up a little bit.

Speaker A:

We have a few more years. But also, Sonic does it, like, effortlessly. He doesn't get like we saw earlier when he's fighting Eggman, he gets, like, the ring, and he gets powered up again, like, fight all the robots. This, he just goes Sonic, boom. Like, it's a speed of sound with no trouble, just whenever he feels like it.

Speaker C:

Well, he didn't have to fight anybody here. He was just running.

Speaker A:

He's just running, just doing his thing. Just like, no obstacles here.

Speaker B:

Just the fastest cops in the world.

Speaker E:

I do like this episode did one thing, and it said, Sonic is fast. That's all you need to know about Sonic. He's fast, he's a little cocky, mostly fast.

Speaker A:

But there's also fourth wall breaking moments where Sonic should have looks at the camera and I'm like, I think it's Speed racer. I think it's a race car driver. It's like, hey, what are you doing? What if kids see this? This could be dangerous. And Sonic, sure to pauses on top of the car, looks at the camera and like, hey, kids, don't try chasing a hedgehog with a Formula One race car. It's. Like what? I'm sorry. Does he know we're watching? What the fuck is this?

Speaker C:

Sonic is very aware.

Speaker A:

He's woke as fuck.

Speaker C:

He's meta.

Speaker B:

He also said s team. The S must stand for slow motion. I'm more concerned, like, you didn't need the motion in there. Just slow, slow team. Yeah, that's a sick burn. Sonic learn when to stop.

Speaker A:

But that's the problem. He can't stop. He's got to go fast.

Speaker C:

Too fast.

Speaker D:

Too fast.

Speaker B:

He jumps off the edge of the highway, lands in a pool, and he can't swim. He can only do so much.

Speaker E:

So I realized this is actually because that's the same thing with stitch, because stitch is super powerful, super strong. But he sinks. He can't he can't swim. Which came first. If this was 2003, when did lelo's stitch come out?

Speaker B:

I think 2002.

Speaker E:

Sonic stole stitches.

Speaker A:

Well, at least with stitch, they give an explanation of like, he's an experiment. We designed him like this. Like, he's very dense.

Speaker E:

Like, specific molecular density is too great.

Speaker A:

Yeah. Sonic has no real reason. I think it's just in the game.

Speaker D:

Can't swim.

Speaker E:

It's too many chili dogs.

Speaker A:

Too many.

Speaker C:

Maybe we should just start a conspiracy theory that Sonic and all of the others are one of jumba's experiments.

Speaker B:

Yes, just experiment.

Speaker A:

164, crossover.

Speaker E:

625 episodes of that show, right?

Speaker A:

Yeah. There's still more.

Speaker C:

Oh, yeah.

Speaker B:

We're going to reboot the franchise.

Speaker C:

Sonic is number one. And jumba thought this was a mistake. I have to try again.

Speaker E:

Less fast, more strong.

Speaker B:

He's stuck in this pool. He goes too fast and can't escape. And then a little boy in this big fancy house sees the ruckus in his backyard and goes out and saves them. And this is one of our main people, Christopher.

Speaker D:

I hate him. I remember hating him so much when I watched in middle school. And then he came again when you're watching now. And I was like, all that?

Speaker C:

He's arrived.

Speaker D:

He's just uninteresting boring. Looks vaguely like sora, but that's always.

Speaker E:

Got going for kind of a buzzkill.

Speaker A:

What is that going for him? I would consider that a con.

Speaker C:

I love sora. Don't talk bad about my son.

Speaker A:

I was severely disappointed they didn't have the drowning music from one of the Sonic games of like that anxiety inducing music. That would have been a great time.

Speaker D:

Or in Sonic Boom, where it just.

Speaker A:

Like yeah, you just hear him drowning.

Speaker C:

Well, episode two.

Speaker A:

Real quick, one last thing. Back when they were at Dr. Eggman's base, when he was holding cream and cheese hostage, he said, creamy dreamy.

Speaker B:

Creamy dreamy.

Speaker A:

I wanted to point out how not okay I am with that.

Speaker C:

Egg man is a furry.

Speaker A:

Trying to.

Speaker B:

Sweep that under the rug. But thank you for bringing that back.

Speaker E:

Do you know anyone other than animals and robots? Like who's? Who do you want them to be attracted to?

Speaker D:

She's like Six.

Speaker B:

Newest invention. A fuck box.

Speaker A:

No.

Speaker C:

Wow.

Speaker A:

Episode two.

Speaker C:

Okay, episode two. We're at christopher's house, and I was wondering why he lives in such a big house by himself. It's because his parents both have money.

Speaker A:

Of course. The fucking filthy rich kid gets the parallel dimension like friends.

Speaker B:

Yeah.

Speaker C:

Why couldn't some poor kid find Sonic?

Speaker B:

Yeah, he isn't fair because his parents aren't around. Rich kids have problems too.

Speaker D:

It's sonic is going to be growing up in it.

Speaker C:

Like in timmy Turner.

Speaker A:

Oh, yeah.

Speaker C:

So his mom calls him and he's like, hey, Mom, I have something to tell you. And she's like, oh, no, what happened? And he's like, it's not that bad. You told me not to go swimming in the pool at night, but I saved a cat. Meow.

Speaker D:

Like, him telling his mom this, it's like the worst lead into the story. He could have just been like, oh, a cat was in trouble. And I helped it and said it's like, you know that thing you told me not to do? I did it. But I also kind of did something else.

Speaker C:

I did it for a good reason.

Speaker B:

Mommy, you remember that arson talk we had? I saved a cat.

Speaker E:

Yeah, that orphanage pool at all. Is there a sensor? I know someone went in the pool last night.

Speaker A:

That's what I was about to say. He didn't have to tell his mom anything. Like, she's not there.

Speaker C:

No, she's off filming a movie somewhere, but it's taking way too long. And his dad keeps sending him money. I think that's something she says, like she's like, daddy will send you more money.

Speaker A:

Daddy, more bucks.

Speaker C:

Daddy wore bucks. Stop it, jasper. Anyway, meow. So he gets off the phone with his mom, and Sonic, of course, is like, I'm not a cat. brah brah. So he's not very happy about that. And then I didn't write down why, but Sonic, sonic mentions that. He's like, I I don't know where I came from. I don't know where I am, and I don't know where I came from.

Speaker A:

Chris asked him where he learned to talk, and he's like, I don't know. Oh, yeah, I'm omnipresent.

Speaker C:

I've always known I was born speaking.

Speaker B:

I was born wearing these shoes and tops.

Speaker C:

And then Chris gets a call from his dad, who is not with his mom, which is that's fine. I'm sorry I said that like that.

Speaker B:

What are you implying?

Speaker C:

He called because he was like, your mom told me that you jumped in the pool at night. What the heck is wrong with you? But they're both just, like, really concerned about him and they love him. And I like, that. I thought it was sweet.

Speaker A:

Maybe they should have a baby here.

Speaker B:

But not enough to be there be with your child and all the yeah.

Speaker C:

After he gets off the phone with his parents, he's like, you're hungry, Sonic? I can give you some food. And sonic's like, yeah, what do you got? And he's like, I looked up hedgehogs and said that I can give you cat food. And he's like and then he tastes it, and he's like, gross. Meow.

Speaker A:

Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.

Speaker C:

At this point I was like, oh, Sonic only eats chili dogs, idiot. Boy.

Speaker A:

He has a terrible come on.

Speaker D:

You can just Google sonic's favorite food and it comes right up.

Speaker C:

And then Sonic, he like, isn't standing for this. And he jumps in a tree. And Chris is like, reaching out for him, and he's like, no, don't leave. I'll give you whatever you want. And this visual of Sonic just like, standing in a tree looking down at this boy and being like, See? I just lost my mind. I thought it was so funny.

Speaker E:

I would write that in a fan fiction where I was in love with Sonic. That's just so romantic. In, like, the bad boy abandonment letters.

Speaker D:

It's like, hypothetically speaking, if I was in love with Sonic, hypothetically speaking, and he did that to me, and it's like romantic hypothetical.

Speaker E:

That's why you hate Chris so much. He got that moment.

Speaker D:

We all know I have a crush on Shadow. Not funny.

Speaker E:

Well, Shadow hasn't shown up yet, so you got to take what you can get.

Speaker B:

Slim pickens.

Speaker C:

At this point, I was sad Shadow wasn't in these ones. I love Shadow season two. All right. And then we get the theme song again, and I listened to it every time.

Speaker B:

Oh, yeah, you cannot skip it.

Speaker C:

It's illegal crime listening. And then hold on my notes. What happened here?

Speaker E:

Okay.

Speaker C:

Chris and Sonic are hanging out on the couch, and Sonic, he's eaten something. I don't know what. There's a wrapper on the table.

Speaker A:

Presumably a chilly dog.

Speaker C:

Presumably a chilly dog. And they're watching the news, and Sonic is kind of like, I don't want to be here. I want to go out and run around. I want to explore. And Chris is like, no, you could get hurt out there on your own.

Speaker A:

You're a monster.

Speaker C:

I'm like, the police were just after you. Do you not understand? You don't understand the implications. And then in this newscast, they're talking about Sonic, and they're interviewing people, and there's a policeman, and he's just like he was, like, this tall, and he was blue. He looked like a freak.

Speaker A:

Looks like a freak. I wrote that down, too.

Speaker C:

So funny.

Speaker D:

Necessarily mean.

Speaker A:

So aggressive.

Speaker C:

That was so good.

Speaker B:

So very indistinct for a police officer being like, we're trying to find this thing. Just send us your blue free.

Speaker C:

And then an old man comes in the room, and it's chris's grandpa. And he's like, Chris, they're talking about a weird blue thing on the news. And then he looks directly next to Chris, and he's like and then he picks up Sonic, and he's, like, holding a screwdriver. And they're like, what are you going to do with that? And he's like, I want to take him apart and see how he works. And he's like, I'm not a machine. I'm a hedgehog, obviously.

Speaker A:

I wrote down chris's tiny scientist grandpa, who kind of looks like Sonic, meets Sonic and immediately tries to screw him, which isn't inaccurate.

Speaker E:

Boy, I got I got a very it's is this felt like a Back to the Future prequel. You know, chris and grandpa very bardi and doc love it.

Speaker A:

This is this is what made doc lose his mind.

Speaker E:

Forget that they had any relationship. barney and that's why marty's always hanging out with him.

Speaker B:

I need you to remember, he went crazy because he needed to build a time machine to go back and hang out with Sonic the more it's his life's work to get back to this happiness.

Speaker C:

So they keep watching the news, and cream and cheese are also in this world. They're stuck on top of, like, a billboard or something. And Sonic is like, I got to go save him. And he just runs off, and Chris is like, wait, do you even know where they are? And then he stops and comes back because he doesn't.

Speaker A:

Fair point.

Speaker B:

Also, I'm very upset with Sonic here because when he runs out, he runs through a hedge, destroying part of it. And when he runs back, he runs through a different part of it rather than not fucking over the people who are hiding you from the cop, they got my gun.

Speaker E:

He sees the place on TV, and he's like, oh, that seems like a place where Eggman would be. And it's like he's not like, oh, I got to go save for Eggman. It's like eggman's not there. He's somewhere else.

Speaker B:

Military complex. Got to go.

Speaker C:

So he comes back, and then Grandpa just calls somebody and finds out that cream and cheese were taken to Area 99, a top secret government facility.

Speaker A:

So secret that this nine year old Christopher knows all about it.

Speaker C:

Yeah. And his grandpa can just call a guy and find out that they took these weird things to it. His grandpa has a job.

Speaker E:

Is that explained? Is he just like kooky?

Speaker B:

He's the former head of raytheon.

Speaker A:

That's why he has a military connection.

Speaker C:

He has gadgets.

Speaker A:

He's the kooky scientist, inventor dad.

Speaker E:

And the giant car, the very salad car.

Speaker A:

I didn't even think about it. That's right.

Speaker C:

Yeah. So Sonic is like, great, now I know where they are. I can go get them. Chris and Grandpa are like, we're going to come with you. And he's just kind of like, okay, because Grandpa I wrote this down. Grandpa has gadgets.

Speaker D:

That's his thing. Yeah.

Speaker C:

So they're driving to Area 99, which again, how secret can it be if you can just drive to it?

Speaker E:

Park outside for like 2 hours?

Speaker A:

I also like how onboard Grandpa is with infiltrating a secret government base for this unknown creature that just appeared in your living room.

Speaker C:

Yeah, he's just totally down for this.

Speaker A:

Yeah, let's over to the government. Fuck the porch wazi.

Speaker B:

All he knows about Sonic so far is that the police are after that, and they're like, oh, cool. Do you want to team up and raid this government facility?

Speaker D:

Also, does Chris go to school now? Take a school today? Go into a secret military base with my grandpa? This is a weird thing we've found.

Speaker B:

When you're rich, you don't need education by the school.

Speaker C:

So they're on their way, and chris's grandpa gives Sonic this eyepiece that looks very Dragon Ball Z.

Speaker A:

It's a scouter.

Speaker C:

Yeah. And it can see infrared lasers so Sonic can avoid them. How convenient when you go through the.

Speaker E:

Vent where no one's expecting you, and there's just a shit ton of lasers, lasers in there.

Speaker C:

Conveniently not in place where Sonic was.

Speaker D:

Like a hedgehog sized guy to break in. And they're like, we know he's going to go through the vents. We've got to prepare for this.

Speaker A:

Listen, guys, we've all played Metal Gear Solid. Believe me, we want. To put those lasers in those vents.

Speaker C:

We got it. So then we get a shot of the facility and it's all very high security and cream and cheese are being kept in a tube thing to be examined. And it was at this point that I sat and thought, I bet cream made a lot of people furries. Yeah, because she's very cute and very small and she talks like this. Why?

Speaker A:

I hate it.

Speaker B:

A lot of five year olds had some awakening that they didn't realize until ten years later.

Speaker C:

She's like very small lola bunny, but like, definitely a lot less sexual.

Speaker A:

If you want the sexualized Sonic character that's Sally acorn from the original series.

Speaker C:

Have you seen Rouge the Bat?

Speaker A:

Fair.

Speaker D:

Wait, can we go back 1 second?

Speaker E:

Sure.

Speaker D:

Because I just remembered in the first episode, Rouge is just there.

Speaker E:

She doesn't say anything.

Speaker D:

She's just there and then never comes.

Speaker E:

Back with the rubes out.

Speaker C:

I miss her. I love rouge. The bat.

Speaker D:

Yeah. If you don't know anything about Sonic and you're watching the show, there's just this character who's there never discussed.

Speaker A:

And then you got the quick shot of fan service and then moving on.

Speaker C:

I was talking about her with Paul last night, my boyfriend. He looked at her wiki page and it says her likes are a lot of the male characters, the Chaos emerald and the Master emerald and in her dislikes is not getting the Chaos emeralds and not getting the Master emerald. So that's all she's about. And also knuckles not giving her the Chaos emerald specifically. Specifically that scenario.

Speaker E:

She feels very faye valentine to me. She's just like, there. She looks cool. We're not sure what she does, what she brings to the team.

Speaker A:

Oh, I was going to disagree with you, but you got a point.

Speaker C:

So enough about Rouge the Bat, who's not even in Sonic gets in. We discussed the air vents and how there are lasers in them for some reason, but conveniently not the place that he is sitting, only in front of him. So he drops down into the facility and Chris and grandpa are like kind of giving him tips. But he's his own hedgehog. He doesn't listen, no one. And he's just running from the security cameras, like too fast for them to see him. And he goes, I'm too fast for him. And I was like, why didn't he say they were too slow? Come on, Sonic.

Speaker A:

Did you catch phrase?

Speaker C:

At which point I was like, this seems far too easy. Something needs to go wrong here.

Speaker A:

Yeah.

Speaker C:

So we get back to cream and cheese in their tube and there's like a lockdown thing coming down around them. And cream's just like, I don't like this. And then the power goes out. Something tore up the electrical wires. And I was like, there's no way Sonic did this. Who done it? But it does give him the opportunity to break cream and Cheese out. So they're running away, and Cream is like, well, how did you do it, Sonic? And sonic's like, I don't know, I didn't do it.

Speaker B:

You know me. I just stumbled through life and good things happen.

Speaker A:

He's an opportunist.

Speaker C:

Exactly. And then the lights go back on, and they got to go real fast and get out of there because now the security cameras are also shooting lasers at them.

Speaker E:

Of course, Sonic doesn't think to pick her up until they're 60% out of there. Oh, you're so slow. Like, come on, hurry up. And it's like, oh, wait a second, I have arms.

Speaker D:

Like, how much could she weigh? £12, like, at most.

Speaker C:

They're very small. I forget how small they are.

Speaker B:

It's not Cream at the front heavy, but Cheese.

Speaker D:

Yeah, yeah, he's like, stitched.

Speaker A:

Yeah, he's just so dense.

Speaker C:

Very big. Not big, heavy. So they the things that shut down. The electrical stuff swoop in. They're like little tiny paper airplanes, and they're wrecking the security cameras and lasers.

Speaker A:

They're just flying through them. Like they're just straight up piercing the cameras. Which also begs the question, how dense are these planes that they're hard enough that they can fly through metal?

Speaker C:

Everything is just so dense in Sonic land. So they're like climbing up some stairs, lots of stairs, and then everything's just, like, falling apart around them because the lasers are now just pointing in every which direction and still shooting and like, tearing apart the staircase. But then everything turns out okay. Sonic pulls up Cream, and then they run up and they're out yay yay. And then Sonic is like, that sounds like a plane. tails is here.

Speaker E:

Could it be this is the only plane that Sonic happens? Like, it couldn't have been any other plane? No, that's the one in their world.

Speaker C:

So he's the one that helped them get out. Those little paper airplane thingies were his.

Speaker A:

What?

Speaker B:

The yellow paper airplanes were for tails.

Speaker E:

I don't understand. tails just like, he's talking to Grandpa. He's like, oh, yeah, these are so common where we come from. And Sonic had no idea that they were from tails or that it would have been anything related to his world.

Speaker A:

Sonic doesn't need to be smart.

Speaker E:

He's pretty, right?

Speaker B:

He's a jock. Sonic is a jock.

Speaker D:

Sonic a chad.

Speaker C:

So they're all back at Chris and grandpa's place, and they're all introducing themselves and says, I'm tails. I'm sonic's best buddy. Right, Sonic? And Sonic just goes, yeah, you are. And I was just like, oh, I love that.

Speaker A:

Pure friendship.

Speaker C:

I thought it was so sweet. grandpa's like, these are so neat, these little planes. And then Chris gets mad at Sonic for being reckless, and he these were not his exact words, but I wrote down, is this a game to you? And Sonic is just kind of like.

Speaker A:

I don't know, whatever.

Speaker C:

It's fine. Everything's going to be fine, and none of them can remember where they came from. And then they're all kind of like, if we're all here, what if Eggman is here too? And then he is, and he's like, dang it, I exploded and now I'm here. Oh, well, I guess I'm going to have to rebuild my empire and take over the universe from here.

Speaker E:

You know what? It makes sense. Eggman, he thinks on his feet. He's like, well, I was trying to take over the universe over there. I didn't work out and now I'm here and I'll just do it again.

Speaker C:

It's possible.

Speaker D:

He is like the most of a go getter out of everyone in this series. He's determined, he's smart, he's going with it.

Speaker C:

What a good resume.

Speaker B:

It's been like a day. He's on this like, isolated island and he already has enough power to like, get his operation up and going. He still has his robots. He's he's been busy the past 24 hours.

Speaker D:

Yeah, like he is a legitimate criminal trying to take over the world. And what has Sonic done in that time? Got shaped by the cops and almost.

Speaker B:

Died at some cat food.

Speaker D:

Yeah, like sonic failed miserably. In comparison to how well Eggman is.

Speaker A:

Doing in this world, sonic is a chad. He's using his natural born abilities to propel himself through life without a care in the world. While Eggman is working hard using his brain to build robots, sentient creatures, and pave his own way through the world.

Speaker C:

Using Eggman as an insult.

Speaker E:

There's no proof that Eggman fucks right?

Speaker D:

Not yet.

Speaker A:

No, we'll get there.

Speaker B:

I mean, have you seen Jim Care?

Speaker A:

The reasons Eggman is because he lays eggs. Anyway episode.

Speaker E:

He doesn't need to fuck. It's like fish eggs. So he lays them and then someone comes along and fertilize.

Speaker A:

Yeah, someone else's fertilizer. Oh God. disgusting. I'm sorry.

Speaker B:

You brought it up.

Speaker A:

Episode three, we get a shot at eggman's base. You know that tower we saw in the last episode? Just kidding. It's an entirely different base. Like it looks completely different now for some fucking reason that they never address.

Speaker B:

He had twelve more hours to rebuild.

Speaker A:

He redesigned it and he's trying to figure out what giant robot should I send in to destroy this city? Because that's just what he does and he's good at it. But instead of deciding which one he wants, he leaves it up to chance. He takes all of his playing cards with all of his personalized robots on them, which on brand. I like the branding. He's got his own merchandise and he just puts them in a machine that pretty much just shuffles them at random and then picks one out randomly and it's missile wrist. That great name. It's just a robot that has like rockets on his wrist that shoots out from a giant coil, but the rockets don't even explode. He just punches very far away. That's all he does.

Speaker D:

Are we to believe that he built all these robots, like, right now? Or did they all just conveniently come with him when he came to Earth?

Speaker A:

Yeah, he brought his storage shed with him in that tower, so he has all the supplies.

Speaker E:

It reminds me the whole random robot. It's very curvy. Right back at you. Where King dee dee dee calls Nightmare Enterprises. And it's like, hey, I need to stop kirby. Send me anything and just send me something that'll work this time. Okay? They never work.

Speaker A:

And he always beats them and then.

Speaker E:

They just very like, I don't he he gave up. He's like, I don't care, just this robot.

Speaker A:

Send me whatever.

Speaker B:

It's an acme subdivision because they always.

Speaker A:

Send them the useless shit. But he keeps coming back to him every time. Yeah. And then after he sends out the robot, we get the fucking beach episode. This is a good anime. They get it done in the first three episodes. I'm into it. And we just see people on the beach and then we just see missile wrist just emerging from the ocean. It's just like, oh, hey, there's a big robot. And he just destroyed people's cars. And like, the lifeguard stand, it's just.

Speaker E:

Like it's very much the the giant tenor Cruel from the pokemon episode that was banned in the Us of the 911. similarities. And also James had boobs.

Speaker A:

Oh, is that the same episode?

Speaker E:

That's the exact same episode.

Speaker A:

Oh, wow. Because I swear I saw so much happened. Was it the 911 comparison or was it just man with booze? Which is worse.

Speaker E:

They leave the shot of Tender Cruel smashing the building in in the the intro.

Speaker A:

Intro. Yeah.

Speaker E:

So it must have been the boot.

Speaker A:

James is just too hot for us kids. And as missile wrist is destroying the city and like, walking in, a man just floating along behind him, just like pottering and Sonic, sonic just said like, fuck it, I'm out. And it's just off exploring and no one really knows where he is, so it's like, oh, that's huge.

Speaker C:

I've lost my boy.

Speaker D:

He just went off to the Grand canyon to like, run and jump because he couldn't do that anywhere else.

Speaker E:

We get a lot of cliffs where I come from.

Speaker A:

Weird geography with the city of like we're in a metropolis and we're also right by the beach. All those giant mountains nearby and chasms randomly and a desert not too far away. It's like, where is what is this place?

Speaker E:

Sounds like Las Vegas. Yeah, I mean, Sonic could have easily run to Arizona.

Speaker A:

Yeah, I guess you got a point.

Speaker C:

Very fast.

Speaker A:

Damn. Why is La so weird?

Speaker B:

I mean, yeah, we know he can go faster than 500 miles an hour.

Speaker A:

At the speed of staff without any effort. Meanwhile, the robots destroying downtown and just walk around, just punching from a distance at things. And the cops set up a barricade and started just laying into them just open fire. And all of their guns look like regular guns, but definitely have laser sound effects.

Speaker C:

Good.

Speaker B:

Yeah, I noticed that too. It was peak. We can't have just regular guns in this children's show.

Speaker E:

This round, like hunting rifles, straight up.

Speaker B:

Snipers just shooting at this robot so.

Speaker A:

It can't be too violent because so it's got the laser sound effects. And then a guy just comes out with a fucking flamethrower and just lights the robot on fire. So this police force has a flamethrower division, has a nascar division. Like, what the fuck? Are these cops? The gang is out looking for Sonic, just trying to see where he is. And this is where we get a shot of him. Just like in the mountains, just like running up and down mountain sides and jumping over chasms. Okay, that's what he's into. He's a simple hedgehog, simple pleasures.

Speaker B:

Got to get that workout.

Speaker C:

It's the little things.

Speaker A:

And when we come back, we see Amy and knuckles. They're here too, except they're in the sewers. We're not sure why. That's never really addressed.

Speaker E:

It seems like Knuckles'plan to go in the sewers, and amy's just like, okay, brooding.

Speaker A:

So he's the Batman of the show.

Speaker C:

This version of knuckles is something that I was unfamiliar with because I mostly know knuckles from Sonic Boom.

Speaker A:

Oh, no.

Speaker C:

And in Sonic Boom is a full idiot. They took all of his brain power and put it into his weird large body. So this knuckles was something very new for me, and I was just like, I love him. I love me knuckles.

Speaker A:

This knuckles is just a SASUKE of Sonic. So they're in the sewers, and while they're underground, knuckles, does he say what he's doing? Does he say he's, like, trying to get somewhere or just stay out of sight, I suppose? And amy's just saying, like, oh, we should hunt down Sonic and find Sonic. He's our leader. He knows what to do. Nutco just kind of like, no, not now. And that's when they hear, not here, not now, woman. And this is where Missile Risks is above them, and they hear the ground shaking as he's walking over them. And Amy is like, oh, jeez, we got to figure out what that is. We got to help them out, because it's kind of like, no, I don't care. I don't care about anything here. I'm a teenager. And he just cares about getting back to the Master at emerald because he.

Speaker D:

Has to protect his own motivation.

Speaker A:

I get that. But everyone's here. Like, if eggman's here and Rouge the Bat is presumably also here because she was closer. So everyone that would steal the Master at emerald is here in this world now, I guess.

Speaker C:

But that's his whole thing.

Speaker E:

He wasn't good back. He must have an easy day at work. He wants to sit in front of the emerald, wants to be over there. I also want to say, so I understand that Amy gets a lot of hate from Sonic fans. And I was from these three episodes. Amy is one of the smartest characters in the first episode when they're in the plane and she's like, tails, the plane is like, on fire. What are we going to do? And tails just goes, we're going to save some plane that your copilot just told you about this issue. And now she's like, let's find Sonic. that'd be a smart thing to do, right? And knuckles is like.

Speaker A:

You got a point. She's definitely portrayed better in this show than I was expecting.

Speaker E:

That's my defense of Amy.

Speaker C:

I'm going to do my best Sonic.

Speaker A:

You know what? Maybe it's because Cream is in it. And she's just quite literally the damsel in the stress for everything. Amy looks better by comparison.

Speaker D:

True, Amy.

Speaker E:

Amy gets to do things as opposed to so, like, the little baby gets captured. Baby can be like, guess what? I got a fucking hammer.

Speaker B:

I got upgraded to logical one in this.

Speaker A:

And it's around this time Eggman hacks into every broadcast ever and appears on every TV and computer and starts giving his whole monologue of like, I'm going to take over this city. Tell me where your leader is, and I'm going to fucking kill him because it's my city now. And I love it because he gives, like, the rich anime girl laugh of the.

Speaker C:

90S. Anime laugh.

Speaker A:

That's so good. I didn't think the show was an anime until I rewatched it. And I was like, this is definitely anime. And it's around this time that Chris and tails fly off because they see the broadcast and they're like, we got to stop Eggman. And then he cuts back to Eggman, like, talking to the police chief. And he's like, show me your leader. He's like, no. And he blows up the car. And he's like, how about now? He's like, okay. And he gets the mayor. He's like, I'm going to take over your city. He's like, I can't let that happen. And he blows up another car. And he's like, technically, it's not in our city charter, where I can't actually immediately caving, but legally not cave. My favorite part, it's the bureaucracy, where he's like, I'm willing to give the city over to you, but legally I cannot. That's the only thing stopping me is the bureaucracy of this red tape.

Speaker B:

You can break the law. I cannot do it.

Speaker D:

I don't think Eggman is really concerned with legality here.

Speaker A:

And then that's when tails shows up flying around in his plane. And the robot just like, what does he do? He punches upward and just hits the propeller. So the plane is like, damaged and going down. Which is great because it's got the nine year old in the back seat. So you got a small animal endangering a child. And that's when tails is like, not quite yet. I got a trick up my sleeve. And just mashes a few buttons, and the plane transforms into not, like, in, like, a shed in the shape of, like, an X that seems to be much faster and doesn't rely on this big, bulky, like, biplane design. And I don't know why he wasn't always using this point.

Speaker C:

It's an X wing.

Speaker A:

Yeah. Why would he not always just use this one?

Speaker B:

He likes the style. It's like someone who has an old classic car. Like, you can get a nicer, newer one, but you put the love into that one.

Speaker A:

Kayla is also nine years old. What does he know about old style?

Speaker B:

Hey, he went through a midlife crisis at four and a half.

Speaker C:

He can appreciate the aesthetics fine.

Speaker E:

He's just that kid who you went to school with, and you're like, oh, you're into play.

Speaker C:

My good friend in high school carried a briefcase.

Speaker A:

There was a time where I debated carrying a pocket watch. Thank God I did not.

Speaker C:

I knew people that carried pocket watches too. There were weird people at my high school.

Speaker A:

At this time, the robot is now up on the building, so he can just get an easier point of view for punching down at things, because he's quite literally punching down at people below him, taking the cheap shots. And this is when Amy and knuckles runs up onto the building. amy's like, we got to stop the robot, but we got to wait for sonny. It's like, ah, fuck it. And she goes running in with the hammer and just, like, slams into his leg. And I like that she isn't just, like, weirdly super powerful. She hits it and kind of, like, holds her hand. I'm like, ow, damn it. reverberated back through the hammer. She's just like, that didn't work. And the robot drafts her and holds her hostage is when knuckles is about to run, like, about bait him up because he's got those big, weird knuckles. I mean, that's his name. But as he's getting closer to the robot, he squeezes Amy more like, got a hostage. And this is when we see Sonic running back this whole time, and he sees them on TV. It's like, oh, I guess I better join the fight. Not worried about the city or the citizens or all those destruction. He's just like, oh, boy. Combat, violence a man.

Speaker C:

I love fighting.

Speaker A:

I'm a chad. I want to fight. And as sonic's running in, we see Chris, like, tag him out with a power ring. And I guess Sonic just needs one, and he just gets hopped up on steroids. So he's running towards the building and goes into the ball form and rolls straight up the building, up to the top floor and onto the roof. And this is where we get that scene from the beginning where he's just toying with this robot. And as missile wrist is shooting out his missile wrist, sonic is just jumping from the missiles coming out and pulling his eye down, sticking his tongue out, slapping his ass. That good stuff.

Speaker E:

Doing the RA rasputine from Just Dance, too.

Speaker A:

And he's just toying with the robot, and then he just eventually gets tired of it, I guess, and just, like, slams straight through. The robot destroys it.

Speaker E:

No. knuckles tells him to. knuckles is like, hey, beat the robot.

Speaker B:

People are dying.

Speaker C:

Please.

Speaker A:

This isn't a topic. Sonic is so powerful in the show, yet such a dick.

Speaker B:

Everyone in the building we're on right now is dead.

Speaker A:

There was a scene where when the robot initiated crashes through the building and people were freaking out. There are two guys carrying out a woman who presumably fainted, but might have also been hit in the head with debris and might be unconscious. So I was kind of surprised by the reactionary shots of the people because it wasn't just generic screaming. There was some like, oh, shit. They ruined my place of business. I'm out of a job now. And this is when the robot is destroyed and eggman runs off. He's all covered, and so he's like, I'll get you next time, Sonic. And flies off in his little hovercraft that kind of looks like an egg. What was it like? Egg carriers. Egg holders get a little for, like, hard boiled egg.

Speaker E:

You just live in a farm, and you crack it for breakfast.

Speaker A:

Yeah, okay, I get it.

Speaker E:

I know what you're talking about.

Speaker B:

Like, the individual one stand.

Speaker E:

Yeah, I have them on, like, Jimmy neutron.

Speaker B:

Yeah, I only know it from I.

Speaker D:

Know exactly what you're talking about now.

Speaker A:

I like that there's two people who only know it from Jimmy neutron. I don't live on a farm. And after Door was destroyed, Amy runs up and, like, hugs sock. And I was like, oh, yeah, we won up the swat teams here. They're going to gut us down. We didn't just save the city. Like, we are also criminals now. And this is when tails flies by in his ex jet thing and drops down the ladder. They're like, come on, let's get out of here. Sonic and Amy jump on, and knuckles is like, I'm a fighter. I don't run away from anything. I'm stubborn for no real reason. They're like, Come on, knuckles. And he jumps on the last second, flies off, and they're like, oh, man, we got away safe and sound. Thank goodness. knuckles. Like, yeah, I'm out. Fuck this, and just let's go the ladder. And for anyone who hasn't played the game or doesn't isn't familiar with knuckles, it looks like he just straight to die. Like, it looks like he's just like, I accept death and just plummet from.

Speaker E:

100Ft.

Speaker A:

Wasn'T built for me. But knuckles can like as far as I know, it's never properly explained why knuckles can just glide around it's from his knuckles.

Speaker D:

Logistically, it's just because rouge can fly, and they're, like, matched. It's like knuckles needs to be able to do that, too.

Speaker A:

But he could do that.

Speaker D:

But he's nuchidna which they can't do that.

Speaker E:

They can lay eggs.

Speaker A:

Yes.

Speaker D:

Yeah, but that's not what he's doing.

Speaker B:

Eggman lays eggs in the show.

Speaker A:

But knuckles could collide even back in sonica. knuckles, when he was first introduced, and that was way before rouge's Bat was introduced.

Speaker D:

Oh, I didn't even know that. Yeah, so that's just stupid, though.

Speaker A:

There's no reason as far as I can tell, there's absolutely no reason he can just glide besides, just like, hey, this be a cool mechanic in a video game. And now it's just there forever. And, yeah, that's it. And sonic's like, leave him. He does things his own way, and it's like, wait, isn't Sonic the edgy one? sonic's the rude dude with attitude, and knuckles is like, the brooding one.

Speaker C:

Yeah. There are no good guys in this show.

Speaker A:

There's a lot of moral.

Speaker E:

And there's Sonic is emilia West ofz and then knuckles is the other more famous guy.

Speaker A:

Charlie sheen.

Speaker E:

No. In breakfast in Breakfast Club.

Speaker A:

Benzer.

Speaker E:

Yeah, he's ben. He's the character Benjamin. So there's like, jog obnoxious guy, and then there's, like, punk obnoxious guy.

Speaker A:

Hills is what's his name? Michael. The other one, the nerdy one.

Speaker E:

It's the brain. Amy is molly ringwald, obviously. Shadow is ally sheedy yeah.

Speaker C:

And cringe is a child crying.

Speaker E:

Did not go to school.

Speaker C:

Who brought this gremlin to high school?

Speaker E:

Being the cat to play Eggman, honestly.

Speaker A:

Oh, my God. And that's Sonic X. That's episode three.

Speaker C:

What a time.

Speaker A:

Oh, boy. This is.

Speaker B:

A true blast from the past.

Speaker C:

I'm going to give this the same review that I gave Detective pikachu. It was dumb, and I loved every minute of it.

Speaker A:

What do you think? You're the one we're trying to convince with anime.

Speaker B:

It was like prime, like, the four kids show. So I would have definitely watched this as a kid if I had any knowledge of Sonic at that time. Yeah, I think being a sophisticated group with an animal adult anime thank you very much. But, yeah, this was a lot of fun.

Speaker C:

Yeah.

Speaker D:

Re watching it after years and years, it's like, oh, yeah, I see why I liked so much as a kid and, like, why any kid watching this would be like, yeah, this is fun.

Speaker A:

It's cool.

Speaker D:

Like, maybe it's not great now as an adult, looking back, like, that's not the point. No, it's like, four yeah. They go fast, they make witty remarks, they win. It's fun.

Speaker E:

It definitely made me want to watch the good episodes of the pokemon anime of just like, the island of the Giant pokemon or that whole arc where it starts on the ssa and then it flips over and it's the poseidon Adventure and they're on the island of the giant pokemon. And then it's the tender, cruel one that got censored.

Speaker A:

And then there's just another beach one.

Speaker E:

I just want to watch those five episodes and be done with it.

Speaker A:

What about the maiden on the cliff side with the gasoline?

Speaker E:

That's a good one. That one also the really creepy one where all the humans are acting like pokemon because drowsy is like hypnotizing it. They go to the roof of the building in celadon or saffron. I forget. Also the one where they go in sabrina's doll house.

Speaker A:

That one's weird.

Speaker E:

That's really creepy.

Speaker A:

This is just about pokemon now. This is just the pokemon.

Speaker E:

Yeah.

Speaker C:

This is a different app.

Speaker E:

Like in my favorite recommended viewing.

Speaker B:

I mean, we heard all the voices of pokemon in this ship.

Speaker A:

That's true.

Speaker B:

It's fresh on the brain.

Speaker A:

Oh God. Right? If knuckles just took out a frying pan and just said, it's a drying pan, be sick. Yeah.

Speaker B:

Well, thank you so much for joining us on this Sonic adventure.

Speaker E:

Thanks for having us.

Speaker D:

My favorite thing.

Speaker A:

As soon as we decided on Sonic, we said bad fan fiction. So you got to bring it in.

Speaker D:

They go hand in hand.

Speaker E:

Sonic is in three different stories in bad fan fiction. The book all written by bullets.

Speaker D:

For those of you who don't know, my very first exposure to fan fiction was Sonic and Shadow because I was in like 7th grade and I was like, again, very into Sonic and very into Shadow. And I was reading this story online and I was like, wow, it's so cool that people took the Sonic characters and like wrote their own story.

Speaker A:

What is this?

Speaker B:

You can do that with established characters.

Speaker C:

Yeah.

Speaker D:

And I was like, that's so cool.

Speaker A:

Jeez, that's a deep fan fiction hole to fall into. And I don't know if we ever truly come out of it.

Speaker D:

I'm going to look up song fan fiction.

Speaker E:

You know, if you want a fanfiction hole that you will truly regret and hold in your heart every day, as I do go to look up regrets all grown up.

Speaker A:

No, please, no.

Speaker E:

Just R rated. Just any of this. Look, there's a lot of good angelica and susie stuff that some people find.

Speaker C:

Very empowering back on board.

Speaker B:

I keep seeing the resurgence of that picture online of someone drew the all grown up but as like millennials today. Oh, I've seen that twice yesterday. I saw it.

Speaker A:

I like that one of the animators from Roguerad's has come out against some of the all grown up fan art and it's like, no, you've drawn them too attractive. Those are ugly babies. They grow up. And to be ugly adults, like, that is what we did on purpose, what.

Speaker C:

We wanted, and you ruined it.

Speaker A:

Look at Chad finster. Do you think that's an attractive man? No. Yes.

Speaker B:

Everyone has a tire.

Speaker A:

He gets married twice, so at least two people do.

Speaker C:

Yeah.

Speaker D:

Hey, chucky's mom is pretty hot.

Speaker C:

She was beautiful. And so is kira.

Speaker B:

This is a different show.

Speaker D:

Rugrats is an anime for a different day.

Speaker E:

So.

Speaker B:

Yeah. Where can people find you? And where can people find bad fan fiction on the Internet. I said that and then immediately regretted.

Speaker E:

Anyway, search bad fan fiction.

Speaker A:

No.

Speaker E:

Our website is bad fan club. Go to that and you can see about the book we just released, the second edition with a forward by Mr. Patrick dugan. It's very nice.

Speaker C:

I didn't know that.

Speaker E:

Yeah, he's he's a member of the team. Technically. He paid the $25 for the new iSPN with us.

Speaker B:

I'm a producer, baby.

Speaker E:

So we just released the second edition. Same story, same illustrations, 70% fewer typos, and just a different cover design that I made myself in gimp photo editor. So check that out. If you're into fan fiction, there's also the audiobook and the ebook, which you can all find through that website. Badfand Club.

Speaker C:

Bam bam. yay.

Speaker B:

And if there's an anime that you have a favorite fan fic of and you want us to watch the original source show, tweet at us. Are we there yet? On Twitter and Instagram. Or you can email us at are we there yet@gmail.com?

Speaker E:

Fruits Basket.

Speaker D:

I do have a Fruits basket fanfiction in the book. It's a self insert where they all fall in love with me.

Speaker E:

Great.

Speaker A:

Their remake or is there a sequel series coming out soon?

Speaker D:

They it's coming out current, like they're.

Speaker E:

Scenario and it's a it's a remake.

Speaker A:

It's a remake.

Speaker E:

They're doing it more like the manga.

Speaker D:

Well, they're doing the whole manga because, like, the original anime stopped after, like, eight volumes, and there's like, 26.

Speaker C:

So it's a full metal alchemist brotherhood situation.

Speaker D:

Fruits Basket brotherhood.

Speaker B:

I'll add that to my list before we leave. But yeah, you can find me on Twitter and Instagram. Mr. Patrick dugan.

Speaker C:

You can find me on Instagram at Queen. Period. Weebu and on Twitter at Queen underscore.

Speaker A:

Weebu you can find me on Twitter at abts. Brendan stands for Almost Brendan Silence, which is another podcast I do. And I'll also plug pinecast, which is what we host this show on and my other podcast on. If you want to do a podcast, if you think you can do better, prove it. Make your own podcast.

Speaker C:

Hey, we forgot to say what we're doing next week.

Speaker B:

Oh, yeah. We always skip over that. So what's going on next week?

Speaker C:

I'll say it quick. We're going to watch a sports anime about track. It's called run with the wind. We're going to watch the first three episodes we've got.

Speaker B:

That got to go fast.

Speaker A:

Sonic time.

Speaker C:

Yeah. We're running in.

Speaker A:

Whoosh.

Speaker B:

Thank you to camille ruley for our artwork. And thank you to Louis zong for our theme music stories off the album Beats. You can find all of louie's music at Louisong bandcamp.com. Thank you, and we hope you'll join us next week as we learn to live with anime.

Speaker C:

You're too slow.

Speaker A:

Thanks, manly. Thanks.

Speaker F:

Sonic The hedgehog and Hannibal lecter Kill 90s Heartthrob Brad garrett by Melissa Sahegan Warning this is the fan fiction that started it all the big Bang of this universe. It is my great honor and privilege to present it to you, the reader, in its original and unedited state. Please, save all your applause to the end and enjoy the thrilling tale of sonic the hedgehog and Hannibal lecter kill 90s heartthrob Brad garrett. Thank you. Warning, part Two also, this is based on the Hannibal TV series on NBC and not Silence of the lambs of the Movie. Sorry. Hannibal leapt over the fallen trees and icy roots of the snowy forest. He was in pursuit of tonight's dinner everybody Loves Raymond star Brad garrett. Although the man's obscene height was to hannibal's advantage, he never lost visual. Brad garrett was just too fast. Hannibal began to huff his visible breath, coming at quicker intervals. Finally, as Brad garrett rounded a tree, hannibal lost visual. He sprinted to where garrett had just been, but there was no sign of him. He uttered some sad cannibal noises. Then he heard a low grunt, a grunt that only could have come from Brad garrett. Hannibal ran to the spot where he heard the sound come from. There was Brad garrett, dead in the snow. Hannibal obviously hadn't done this, so who did? The answer came to him in the form of a demonic chant from the tree line.

Speaker D:

You're too slow.

Speaker F:

A small smile appeared on the weathered face of the chesapeake ripper at recognition of the voice. Hello, sonic, my old friend. sonic the hedgehog ran out of the trees and to hannibal's side. He was grinning. I haven't seen you since college.

Speaker D:

All right, Dr. lector, sonic said, winking.

Speaker F:

And giving his old friend the thumbs up they embrace. Hannibal thanks, sonic, for killing beloved actor Brad garrett for him. How would you like to stay for dinner? Sounds great. sonic exclaimed. He helped Hannibal carry Brad garrett back to hannibal's creepy house in Baltimore. All the while, Hannibal was deep in thought. He doubted sonic knew he was a cannibal, even though it rhymes. And of course, he would never consider killing and slash or eating sonic. He only ate humans, not hedgehogs. He wasn't a monster. Still, sonic was down with murder. But Hannibal was unclear on whether or not sonic would consider eating his victims. He shrugged, knowing he would soon find out. While sonic waited at the dinner table, hannibal prepared a meal most elegant out of the six foot eight inches of Brad garrett's body. Once it was prepared, the two friends dined, catching up on the year since they were in medical school together. At the end of the meal, sonic burped loudly. That was delicious. Thanks, hanni. sonic, there's something I must tell you, Hannibal said, not daring to meet sonic's eyes, which are actually one giant conjoined eye with two peoples. This meal is actually American, sweetheart. Brad garrett. sonic gasped, but then laughed. That's okay, doc. cannibalism is cool with me. We should do this again sometime. Hannibal smiled, glad to have a friend who understood him. Yes. Yes, we should. And don't worry, we won't get arrested for this. But two laughed and moved, moved out onto dessert, which was the leftovers from Brad garrett.

Speaker D:

It was delicious.

Speaker F:

Wool Graham was blamed for this crime, and he was locked up forever.

Episode Notes

Faster-faster-fasterfasterfaster We are joined by Jess Morse and Melissa Sahagian of the Book Bad Fan Fiction, a collection of the finest smut-free fan fiction stories, as we watch Sonic X!

Twitter: @Areweebthereyet

Instagram: @areweebthereyet

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/areweebthereyet/

Thank you:

Camille Ruley for our Artwork

Louie Zong for our Themesong "stories"

https://louiezong.bandcamp.com

Find out more at http://areweebthereyet.com

This podcast is powered by Pinecast.

Copyright 2018